Reflections on the heart

For anyone who might not know yet, about 25 days ago, May 26, I had an emergency visit to the ER because my heartbeat was erratic.  About 2 mins. after I walked into the ER, I blacked out. Apparently my heart had stopped effectively beating and they had to re-start it using the two electric shock pads.  I didn't wake up until about 16 hours later....

I wish I had some amazing stories to tell about seeing the tunnel of light and being guided by an angel or an old wise man... but I guess God felt I didn't need to remember that part.  What I DO remember is waking up in shock, because I had a ventilator tube down my throat, my arms were tied to the bedsides, I couldn't speak and it was difficult to breathe.   Thank God my wife Elisabeth and my sister Becky were right there by my side.  I was told I had other visitors before, but I had no memory of seeing them.  It was due to the heavy sedation.  They used fentanyl and propofol.  Not the kind of chemicals I would choose to inject into my system but I guess it was their protocol when putting people on ventilators.  

When I finally got home after being released by the ICU, I was in a very fragile and low place.
Feeling like I was walking along, minding my own business, when WHAM!,  life came along like a big unforgiving truck who comes too close to the sidewalk and knocks you over. 

The story of how and what it took to bring myself back from the cliff's edge of a close call with death....  that will be the story I will tell more about in the coming days.